We're so grateful for the advice of people we barely know, many of whom give freely of their time and opinions to tell us just what we're doing wrong in our pregnancy, without even needing to be asked. However, we feel bad about taking people away from their important daily tasks in order to dispense pregnancy wisdom to us. They must be missing out on all sorts of other activities. Haven't they got anything better to do with their time? we repeatedly ask one another. In order to spare people from the chore of having to give us unsolicited medical advice, therefore, we've decided to enlist the help of a pregnancy guilt mime. The guilt mime is constantly on the lookout, ready to spring into action with a stern disapproving face whenever Elizabeth might be about to do anything that might threaten to knock a point or two off Aethelbert-or-Myrtilla's eventual IQ.
Here are some examples. Tempted to reach for a slice of lovely ham, E?
Better not. Think of those carcinogenic nitrates.
Don't fancy that massive dietary supplement pill?
That's better.
You get the idea. Apparently the occasional glass of wine is fine, though.**
Only joking.
*with thanks to Michael Meeuwis.
**People actually keep telling us this, weirdly.
A friend of mine said every time she went to Starbucks (and ordered a decaf coffee), random people would come tell her how bad coffee was for her baby. Seriously, I don't get why people think it's ok to give unsolicited advice to pregnant women! Just so you know, the experts agree that travel to Ann Arbor is okay. :)
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